First 2020 SUCKS. I’ve posted before on here about my brother passing away in June and then my friend who was planning our COVID baby shower decided she didn’t want to so she just didn’t send out the invites.

After canceling our shower because we thought no one was coming we found out from our Pastor that our church friends were planning a surprise one for us and my Pastor’s wife who is expecting too. Our Pastor’s wife heard they were doing a joint shower and said she didn’t want one since this was their fourth child. She was adamant about it saying they didn’t need one as they had everything already and that I needed to have something happy after so much pain. When I found out our church wanted to do something for us I bawled. It’s been a hard summer and pregnancy. My inlaws got into contact with everyone planning it and told them they would pay for everything or reimburse people.

The shower was on Saturday and I was overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness. I cried when I saw the decorations and the cake. It wasn’t until my friends started arriving that people started asking me if we were having twins. I kept telling people no and then I started asking why. My best friend showed me the cake and it said

I thought maybe the cake place messed up and didn’t notice the change to the shower. I thought nothing of it after that.

The day after the shower I was borrowing my husbands phone (we borrow each other’s all the time. No secrets). When I opened it there was already an email opened. saw my MIL had sent him a copy of an email she sent to a church friend that helped with the shower named Kathy. It was MIL apologizing to Kathy about something that happened with the shower and the cake. I didn’t want to pry so I didn’t read it all. I asked DH about it later and he told me that when everyone got together the night before to do stuff for the shower MIL found out that Kathy was going behind everyone’s back and still planning it for a joint shower. I guess everyone was afraid to stand up to her and was letting her do it. My MIL was very upset by this because not only were they paying for it but that I was being told it was for us. Then the morning of the shower Kathy brought the cake and everyone saw that she intentionally had them decorate it the way it was.

Luckily I’m a big dumbie and I don’t assume things so I just played it off as a mistake at the bakery. I guess our Pastor’s wife felt very awkward when she saw everything and that she was out in a difficult spot too. Like there were two chairs and I thought they were for DH and I but now I know they weren’t. The theme was oranges like the cuties brand. But it was to be “cutie” singular and everything said “little cuties” because that’s how Kathy was still decorating it.

So since finding out I’ve felt like a moron. Like here I was overwhelmed with happiness because there was something nice to enjoy. But there was a lot going on behind the scenes to make a smoke screen so I wouldn’t get hurt. Like I was kept away from the guests arriving so they could tell the guests that were from church to leave the Pastor’s wife’s gift in their cars. As I guess it still said on the invites that it was a joint shower. Behind the scenes stuff like that. DH is upset with her and MIL is too. They’re grateful I don’t notice anything because it would have been a blindsided and hurt.

Now, I don’t know how to act with/around Kathy. I wasn’t trying to make anything about me. All I knew was they were having it for one of us and when it was. I’m embarrassed and feel like hiding from everyone.

EDIT: sorry I wrote this fast. Kathy is a member of our church and she was helping the other ladies do the shower.