Just wanna be over it

I wish I could say what really happened but I’m so embarrassed that I can’t even find the right words to say. I guess I’m just not ready yet.

You:

I hate you for the fact that you hurt me again. You broke my heart and gave a girl’s worst nightmare come to life. You lied and scarred me forever with your stupid mistake. And yet here I am...still with you because you loved me even when I couldn’t love myself. You helped me pay for college, you drove countless hours to come see me, you held me and was there for me when my father assaulted me, you did everything you possibly could from hundreds of miles away to make sure I wouldn’t commit suicide, you encouraged me to seek help, the past 8 years you helped me every step of the way...so for you to make one decision...one stupid dumb decision... you broke me. Are you the guy who’s been supportive and loving or the guy who cares more about another girl’s body?

I wish I could go back to when I found out. I should’ve yelled at you and told you off more. Just to get it all out of my system but I was so thrown off and hurt that I was speechless. I forgave you and I’ve been trying to move on since. You’ve done a lot to show me how sorry you are and I hope you continue to be the guy who I met and fell in love with