Trying to keep it together.

I am seriously so annoyed with everyone right now... im trying to emotional keep myself strong and calm for my baby, but the fact that today is the day they burry my best friend from 15 yrs old om because she died September 3rd, giving birth to her son... and left behind a husband and son and her mother... has been so torn up inside and i have just been keeping everything inside but it really really hurts. We were gonna be mothers together, and have double dates when me and my fiance got our place, and now she's gone. Im trying not to question God all day asking why in the world if she was going to die that it was after she had a baby and now its going to be without her. She was such a fun and amazing person. We both related to each other. And everyone keeps asking if I've had my own baby yet and im so over the stupid question. When i have her everyone will know when im ready to tell everyone.. and as much as i want her out, i dont want her out until later due to the fact we live with his parents again on couches until we can find a place. Like im trying not to be emotional or grouchy but the last two weeks have been so crazy and my body hurts so much.. and i feel so smothered but also so alone right now. Like his mom wants to be involved with so much and he isn't so much because hes getting scared now that its closer and he feels he's not ready. While im carrying her, tired of being pregnant and im so ready whenever she is, and im tired of people telling me what they expect or want or if they're right about something or not. Like this is my body and my baby jusy leave me alone please. I just want my own space and i want space when i have my baby because i am the mom, and i deserve some space after everything the last few months of craziness... like i just feel so sad and annoyed right now.. and i dont need sympathy or told im being too grumpy... i just needed to get it out and i dont have many people i can talk to right now.