Why do people shame stay at home moms so much?

Question

I just truly don’t get it. I’ve been both and I’ll admit being a stay at home mom is way harder on my brain and mental health than any job has been. And I worked as a waitress (daily abuse from customers 😅) maybe it wasn’t hard for you but does that mean my feelings and hardships are invalid? NO. Everyone is different. Some struggle more being a working mom and some struggle staying home. So why does society feel the need to bash and downplay stay at home moms? And why is it mostly freaking women that do the bashing?!? Like it was easy for you? Cool, good for you! But that doesn’t make it easy for everyone. Seriously stay at home moms deserve a lot more respect than were given.

Accepted Answer

People shame working mothers too. We live in a time of relentless mom shaming. You can’t win, which is why you can’t worry about what others say about your parenting choices. As long as your babies are safe, healthy, and well loved that’s all that should matter.

Answer

Feminism and the idea that a career woman is what all women should and want to be.

Answer

None of us can win. It doesn't matter what we do as women or mothers there will always be someone there to make us feel like shit.

Answer

I hate people like that. I have a very clingy 2 year old that is just recently starting to spend more time playing by herself. But many days she's still very clingy. My back hurts from holding her so much. I'm tired. I miss adult interaction. While she's usually great at helping me clean, some days she just wants to destroy anything I just did or won't let me do it at all. Before my current husband I was a single mother working 40+ hours a week and going to school full time, and that wasn't nearly as hard as being a SAHM. I love her to death and I love our time together, but sometimes the weight of everything is just too much.

Answer

Because people hold their experiences as the norm. They can’t fathom not being the center of attention. 
“Well I did this” “Well my mom did this”, “it could be harder, I had it harder (add your story) and I never cried once”. Etc etc. 
I’d also assume people are jealous of stay at home parents because they have the privilege to stay home rather than work and therefore think it’s “easy”.

Answer

People also shame you if you choose to have your child in daycare and have a career. You can’t win with what others think, so you should do what’s right for you and your family and not worry about what anyone has to say about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

That's why idgaf what anyone has to say. Their opinion about my life means 💩 to me.

Answer

I have done both. They are equally as hard and each have their own challenges. I am currently doing both at the same time working from home due to the pandemic.

Answer

Im a single stay at home mom, unwillingly. I was furloughed due to COVID and let me say, I’m at my wit’s end. My mom has to work so I’ve been watching my 8 year old twin brothers as well as my 5 years old and 3 year old. They’re with me M-F and go back to her house Saturday and Sunday. All 4 are doing school from home so there’s 4 computers running at the same time while I’m walking from one side of the house to the other making sure they’re on top of their task and not playing around. On top of that I have to cook and every day I never have time for breakfast. Helping them with homework is another fight too that I just don’t have the energy to explain. All in all, my hips hurt, my back hurts, my ankles hurt and the house is a mess. I’d kill to go back to work but then I would have no childcare. If it were just my kids and I, I don’t think I’d be having such a hard time but then again I’ll never know. I’m one exhausted mom and most days I don’t sleep until 1 am or 2am because my mind is stressing and panicking about money.

Answer

I’ve worked previously and now a SAHM studying part time online. I’m married however my husband has been babied his entire life. He brings home the money and I cook every day, clean every day, grocery shop and look after my almost 3 year old. 
He doesn’t help with a single thing unfortunately.
I appreciate being able to spend so much time with my daughter, and very happy we are financially stable to do that but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Constant cleaning after a toddler, she’s attached to me and won’t be by herself at all, doesn’t let me clean/cook properly. My back hurts, I’m tired I have depression from being home too much. It’s hard to find work now due to covid but I’m also trying to start a cake business from home. It’s so difficult.
Do some people have it worse? Hell YES 
Does that mean it’s not hard for me? No way. Maybe other mothers have higher tolerance levels who knows.
And now living in Australia we are in stage 4 lockdown not allowed to leave your home at all only for groceries and medical emergencies. Let me tellllll you we are going mad. Sometimes I just want to get in my car and go for a 15 minute drive to clear my head but ..nope not allowed.
I never knew people looked down on us so much until I became a stay at home, people look at you like you’re doing something wrong. Why do women constantly put down other women?
I’m not trying to complain about my life but other women need to understand their not better than us because they work.

Why do people shame stay at home moms so much?

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