I’m just devastated

My doctor gave me the go ahead to try and get my labor restarted after Tuesday because I’m officially 37 weeks and not considered preterm. All day, I drank water, walked, felt contractions, bounced. But they never got closer together, didn’t hurt like they did before. I know I still have 3 weeks but I am in so much pain and have been since 20-ish weeks. I also thought having him today would have been perfect since it’s infant loss awareness day and after miscarrying and having my daughter as a stillborn all within the same 12 months it would be symbolic. So basically I cried in the shower and have been a complete pain in the ass all evening