A few years ago I was on a birth control that like completely eliminated my sex drive. Obviously that caused issues and I wanted to have sex with him in a way that I wanted to connect, I wanted to feel that bond and love, but my body was just not responding. I wasn’t getting wet and it just hurt which turned me off more and I’m pretty sure I was getting depressed too because of the hormones. I knew it made his self esteem drop and I had planned to make plans to find a better birth control and I did. I told the doctor everything.

But I couldn’t just stop taking the pill. I still needed to be on birth control until I went to my gyno appointment and discussed my issues and a different method of BC. I am sorry but I don’t trust condoms as a sole source for contraception, they break once and you’re pregnant. That’s a no from me. I wanted to go from one BC right to another.

I posted about how I had sex with him anyways, and it wasn’t great because it hurt, my vagina was angry and not cooperating and it made me feel really insecure and that didn’t help anything at all. I did because I felt Like he deserved to feel wanted. I put myself in his shoes and I didn’t want him to feel like I didn’t want him because I did, my body just did not. I was asking on here what I could do in the meantime to help.

This is when I was ripped into with one of the most hurtful comments I have ever read about how I didn’t deserve him and he needed more than a pity fuck, and that he’d probably go off and have sex with someone else and pretty much that would be my fault.

As if I’m not a human being with my own issues that had a reaction to a birth control which we both agreed I should be on as we weren’t ready for a baby. Any other woman could have this exact issue.

It made me feel like an object, like i was being told I exist just for sex and if I didn’t give good sex that i wasn’t worth it as a woman or partner. I say it made me feel that way but she basically said that in different words.

It was a weird time for us and I just wanted advice. My only intention was to make my SO feel wanted but i couldn’t force my body to react the way to sex as it normally would and she chewed my ass and made me feel like crap over something I didn’t even chose, I didn’t choose for my vagina to turn into the desert but it did because of the damn BC.

I was just absolutely torn down by that comment and I have no idea why it’s still affecting me so much. It still stings. It made me feel so guilty, it made me feel like a piece of shit partner.

This was just a short time, a weird little rough patch in my sex life that we got over.

I got on a different kind of BC and my sex drive is actually higher than his now. He is completely satisfied now.

Y’all we are allowed to not be perfect all the time for our partners whether it be sexually or mentally. There was a year we lived in the city and his bosses verbally attacked him on everything from his looks to his personality and his sex drive dropped because he was miserable and that place made him depressed. But did I throw a fit? No. I knew he was going through it so I remained patient because I loved him. He’s more than just sex to me, he is my lifetime partner. My BEST friend. Yes I felt like i wasn’t desirable to him but I knew that it would come back again at some point. I knew that he still very much loved me, and wanted me but just didn’t feel like it and that’s okay. You can’t expect everything in a relationship to be going perfectly all the time anyways.

And both of our sex drives returned. we both came out of those cruddy times and our sex life returned to normal, if not better.

Just... don’t be like that lady. That was so mean for no reason.