Threesome with two boys and now I’m struggling

Ok listen here, I just really need to get this off my chest because it has been driving me crazy.

About a year ago I sort of started dating my neighbour, let’s call him Jack. We had a really nice time and we both fell for each other but weren’t officially together.

I left the country for a bit and came back after about 3 months. I needed some time to settle back in and didn’t immediately start talking to him again.

I guess he was pretty sad about me leaving and after I came back our connection was kind of lost.

We didn’t do stuff together anymore and only saw each other like 1 to 4 times a month. He would only text me if he wanted sex. Which was ok for me but I felt like I wanted more.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, we weren’t talking to each other anymore and literally only had sex once in a while.

I wanted to end it but my lacking self respect and the fact that I’m way to horny made it hard to stop.

One day I texted him, asking for sex and he said he has his friend over but we could have a threesome.

Without really thinking about it I agreed, not knowing who his friend was.

Turns out it’s his super hot friend Tom whom I distantly know.

The sex was amazing and I immediately had a crush on Tom.

After that we never talked again.

Now Tom has moved to my neighbourhood and I started hanging out with him more.

I really like him, he’s very charming and makes me laugh a lot also all of my friends get along great with him plus he’s super hot.

Two weeks ago we had a small party (I live in Germany, this was before the lockdown)

Tom asked me if I would like going over to his place afterwards and I agreed as it’s what I’ve been wishing for a long time.

I don’t know why but Jack also joined us, which was ok, although Tom and I agreed we would have preferred being alone.

We tried for another threesome but ofcourse it didn’t work out because both seemed extremely jealous and made it insanely hard for me to do this.

After a while of awkward silent fighting I had enough and told them to figure their shit out.

I watched them fight over me for a good two hours which was funny at first but got annoying after a while.

I slept beside both of them in bed and woke up the next morning to Jack being extra sweet towards me and making the impression he really likes me. He had already been a completely different person at the party whiteout knowing I’d go home with Tom.

I went home being super confused and not knowing what to do.

Jack has ever since been the nicest person to me and is actually wholeheartedly trying to kind of win me back.

Like he is now exactly what I always wanted him to be.

It’s just that I’m not sure I want him anymore.

Tom on the other hand is holding back but he has been talking to my bestfriend about what is going on between me and Jack, as he would actually really like to get to know me better.

I talked to jack about our situation and we decided we don’t want a relationship but he doesn’t want me to see or more specifically have sex with Tom.

Which I understand because he’s his best friend but I would like to get to know Tom better.

I’m so torn in between the two guys, as I don’t want to hurt Jacks feelings and kind of ‘betray’ him like that but I also can’t stay with him because my heart is telling me otherwise and I have a bit of a feeling he only wants me now that there’s another boy.

I don’t feel very respected and am struggling what to do.

I think I need to end it with Jack but it’s so hard for me because he is a really sweet guy and I he really cares for me.

I’m so sorry for this awfully long story I just needed to share it with someone.

Do you have any kind words of advice for me?

I mean I kinda know what I need to do but it’s so hard for me