How long is too long?

Question

Let me start by saying I never want to put pressure on my boyfriend when it comes to getting engaged but when do I get to become “concerned”?
We talk about it a lot, he says he wants to marry me but wants to do it right... well we’re going on 4 years and nothing has happened yet. He wants to be able to afford a good ring... but I’ve told him multiple times I DONT CARE ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE RING. 
I feel like my head is getting filled with these possibilities but months and months keep passing and nothing. 
I want someone to want to marry me and not care of the size of the ring. They want to marry me because they want me. 
I feel bad for thinking and feeling this way. Is that wrong? 
Side story; we’ve been trying to get pregnant for 2 years now after we found out it was going to be nearly impossible for me to get pregnant. We’ve even tried IVF. So ends are tight, I get it. But it’s not about the cost of the ring, it’s the meaning behind it. Just seems like an excuse at this point and I feel myself getting tired... defeated :( I can’t have a kid nor does the man I’m with want to marry me anytime soon apparently. 
I don’t know what to do.

Answer

Ask him to give you a timeline that he thinks is realistic that he could propose by. Being up front with your goals and expectations in a relationship isn’t pressuring him. I hate that idea. Your life is majorly effected by his decision and he won’t be open and honest with you. It’s 2020. You don’t have to wait around for him to make his decision with no input or say so. You don’t need to feel guilty for speaking up for your needs and aspirations.

Answer

You have absolutely every right to voice what you need out of your relationship. 
When my now husband and I started dating, he was planning to keep seeing other people. I told him I knew what I wanted and if he wanted to see other people he could, but I wouldn’t be one of them. When we were dating for a little while, I told him if he couldn’t see a future with me after one year to end it and if he wasn’t ready to propose by two years then end it. I knew exactly what I wanted and what I was ready for and if he wasn’t then I wasn’t going to wait around. He proposed a little over a year into dating, we’ve been married for 3 years, and we just had a baby via IVF.

Answer

It would be too long for me but my husband proposed six weeks after we first met 😅

Answer

My parents didn’t get engaged until 6 years of dating. Just give it time. I’m sure it’ll happen when he’s ready. But if you’re worried he’s seeing someone else or there’s a reason behind him not proposing, maybe try talking to him about it.

Answer

Everyone is different, personally I’m not super huge on it so I’m like whatever. But if that’s what you need out of your relationship you have every right to feel that way! I think you should really have this conversation with him and just as nice and genuine as possible to get him to see how your feeling about it, also see where his head is with it

Answer

Do you think your infertility could be a factor...? Not to be insensitive but is he big on wanting a family and multiple kids and maybe hes afraid it won't happen with you? That can be a deal breaker for a lot of people..

Answer

Is marriage something really important to him? I personally don't want to get married, my boyfriend does and he did buy me a ring. We been together almost 7 years and I still am in no rush to get married. 
Maybe talk to him about how important it is to you?

How long is too long?

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