Cousin is pregnant and I’m not happy

So I just found out that my cousin is pregnant and she’s due in June - and I really really want to be happy for her but I just can’t feel anything but sad. I think because I’ve been wanting a baby for so long and it just hasn’t been in the cards for me, and now all the sudden she’s pregnant and I just wasn’t prepared with having to deal with some else getting to talk about their baby at Christmas.

Like I am so happy that she’s having a kid, I just don’t show it at all because it’s just making me feel like a failure.

I’m worried that I won’t be able to seem happy when my family talks about it - and I’m just depressed, I think.

I don’t know how to get over this slump, because I want to show her that I’m happy for her, but all I can think about is how I can’t have a baby and how I’ve had miscarriages and how because of my PCOS getting worse that I may never have a baby. It’s just really really hard and idk what to do.