Terminal cancer

My grandmother was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and I’ve had one of the worst weeks in years. One of the weeks literally nothing can go right. I’m angry to the point I don’t recognize myself. I have to scream in the car alone. I feel screwed over by a job That has made my ptsd so bad I have to medicate daily to handle the stress. I’m drained. Im tired of feeling like I could be replaced every day of my life after dragging myself out of bed everyday to keep pushing forward. I have been working the entire pandemic and I still feel disposable. Every. Fucking. Day. My boyfriend is mean to me about the most mundane things and doesn’t want to help me with the smallest things like clearing a space for me to sit and eat dinner with him. I’ve been bawling to the depths of my bones and he is 5 feet away and all he did was turn the volume up on the TV so he could keep ignoring me. Idk how I’m ever going to forgive him for not being there for me in a time of need. One minute he may offer something nice and the next it’s like he thinks I’m scum of the earth. I feel so alone. This isn’t so much a question as me desperate for someone to be kind to me when I feel like hell.