My husband has no patience

I feel like my 4 year old gets so much of his aggression and anger from my husband. My 4 year old was throwing a tantrum screaming and hitting himself and my husband was holding him down aggressively trying to get him dressed because my 4 year old was fighting him to get dressed. I asked my husband to let him go and to let him calm down and he got upset with me and said “you get him dressed then” at this point idk what to do with my son or husband. I hate the aggression and anger 😢😢