I wish...

I just wish he could see things through my eyes, he keeps saying “where’s the woman I had before.” Shes here.. but she’s going through a lot. She’s fighting the demons, but here lately she has been knocked down. I am failing my family miserably. Im trying my best to do better but he doesn’t see it; I haven’t showered in days, I get up to do something; anything and it’s like my arms and legs are weak so I sit back down.. I can’t sleep, I get about 3 hours a night.

Most days he gets mad about something like dinner wasn’t ready when he got home, the living room looks a mess, his clothes weren’t washed..etc. now when he starts saying things to me I don’t care; I don’t argue back, I don’t do anything I just sit there.

I need to do better... but I don’t know where to start.. it’s like I’m in a very dark cave, with a deem flash light trying to find the exit.