Alone

Thought tonight would have turned out different. This isn't just a new years thing, but hits harder right now. Could be the pregnancy hormones or just the sheer heartbreak from thinking I would be put first for once.

To get to the point my boyfriend chose to go out and drink. What was supposed to be 1 hour turned to 2 and then 3. Like I said this isn't exclusive to new years. I decided to text him and remind him that I was going to bed early. I still have our 14 month old son to care for tomorrow and I have been extremely tired due to my current pregnancy. Well he acted like he was going to make it here by 10pm, even though he was only 15 minutes down the road and I texted him around 9:45pm. He then texted me nearly 30 minutes later and said he was just going to stay there unless I wanted him to come home. I wanted him to come home but not drunk (we have had too many bad nights because of his drinking).

I feel like if he really wanted to spend the new year with me, he should have chose to stay home. Or at least chose to come home at a more appropriate time. I thought for once the new year would start off right, but it's starting off looking like the same old b.s..