Asked my mom if she would help me pass a piss test

So I don't actually smoke weed. I asked my mom if I needed help passing a piss test would she helped me. She said "I wouldn't pass" I was shocked. I'm like "Mama you smoke weed?" She says to me " I've had 7 kids. You ripped me to my ass, and your brother Nathan ripped me to my clit. My vagina now looks inside out. Your sister almost bit off my nipple when I was breastfeeding and I had to go to the Hospital. I work with dumbasses. I got cursed at because this dumb lady doesn't understand why you can't return an open box of tampons. If I want to smoke a bowl I sure as hell fucking will. " Like damn mom. Yes I smoke weed would have been enough😅😅😅😂😂😂