I feel like my marriage is deteriorating and I don’t know how to fix it...

I miss feeling like my husband put the stars in the sky and like I’m the luckiest person in the world to get to be with him. I look at our wedding photos and my heart just feels so full and I think about how I felt that day and I really wish I still felt like that, but I just don’t. My heart aches, because I don’t. Because I would do anything to go back to that day, to that feeling that I thought I’d get to spend the rest of my life feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband with all my heart. But I feel like over the past year he’s been such a shell of himself. Maybe I have been too, I don’t know.

I’m just so sick of his laziness and of feeling under appreciated by him. He talked last night about how he was going to do the dishes first thing in the morning and then we’d make breakfast together. I woke him up at 1pm. Yes, literally 1pm. And he complained that he was still too tired and went back to sleep until 2:30. Then he gets up, lays on the couch, and plays on his phone for hours. And this is a regular thing for him. He says “I’m sorry.” He’s always “sorry.” And then he does it again.

I just feel so disillusioned by him and I miss who he used to be and how I used to feel about him. I feel like I’m just perpetually annoyed at him, but I really don’t want to be. I want to feel captivated by him and totally head over heels for him again. But every time I look at him he’s on that damn phone, he’s sleeping, and/or he’s procrastinating some sort of housework that I’ve been begging him to do for weeks, and I just feel entirely annoyed at him, all the time.

I feel like he’s in a funk--but it’s been a really long time--and I just want him to snap out of it and go back to who he used to be so I can go back to feeling how I used to feel. I love him unconditionally and I always will, but I don’t feel crazy in love with him anymore like I used to. And I want to feel crazy in love with him again, so badly. I want to have the kind of marriage where we’re just as in love as we were the day we met. I want our son to grow up with parents who look at each other like we did in our wedding photos. But I just can’t get myself to feel that way about the person he is right now.

(We are in couples counseling, by the way, and it’s just not helping enough)