I am not honest with my parents and its killing me

little background, my dad hates boys and is very and emotionally violent and I lost my v with a guy that I'm not dating and I cant tell him because he would be disappointed if I did it with someone that I dont care about. But that doesnt stop the natural urges to have sex. so i did it and i lied about where I was. I wore a condom and got this irrational fear that I was pregnant so I took 3 tests all negative and I just keep having panic attacks and nausea because I'm lying to him about my life but he has me in a place where I dont feel like I can be honest with him. I have to tell him soon but I cant tell him the entire truth.. I feel like a terrible person and my chest hurts from the anxiety to the point wheel I throw up and I feel like I have heart problems. I am 17 and I need advice