Baby shower problems

So back story. My mom and I do not have a good relationship at all. It’s been strained since I was a young child. I also work with her.

About a month ago my MIL offered to plan my baby shower and suggested I start making a list in case Covid restrictions let up and I’m able to have one. I said yes because she’s really good at planning parties and she’s also the first one to offer. Today I told my mom who was on the list for our side of the family and she asked if I’m planning my own shower and I said no MIL is. She got really upset and made me feel super guilty about it by saying “but the mom is supposed to plan it.” I said she’s more than welcome to phone MIL and they can plan it together or she can plan the one for work. She says “no it’s fine” and got all pissy like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum (common for her) I had no idea the “mom” is supposed to plan it as this is my first baby and the only other shower I’d been to my friends step mom planned it.

Its getting to the point where my mom and my strained relationship is stressing me out to the point of breakdown both in and out of work. At this point I’m just going to tell my MIL to scrap the whole shower and I’m not going to have one.

I don’t know what I’m getting at. I guess I’m just venting. Anyone else in a similar situation?