Still in denial but also excited/happy.. how can I control this.

So I was told at 20 weeks that my 3rd baby is a baby girl. That would make her my 3rd daughter, I was a little upset, I even cried even though I was thankful to god for even blessing me with kids. A few days later I booked a private 2d ultrasound to confirm it and she also told me girl.

Then around 27 weeks I had a appointment and it was a new doc (I got transferred to a fetal specialist) and he asked me if I knew what I’m having, I said yes a girl. He said looks like a girl to me.

So that’s 3 different people telling me it’s a girl. And obv when 3 people are saying it , it has to be true.

So why can’t I fully accept this? I even had a whole different pregnancy with this baby then I did with my toddler girls . Since the beginning I had a gut feeling its time for my boy.

I’m happy , I’m fine even though a son would’ve completed me family, I’m happy that I get another beautiful baby girl. I even did shopping for her and got clothes and all. I have even decided on a name.

But deep down, I keep thinking , what if it’s a boy who was mistaken for a girl?

Why do I have dreams including baby boys?

And all these videos and posts of failed gender reveals , make me even more anxious.

I hate feeling this way because I feel guilty.

I feel like I’m being ungrateful or selfish, but I really don’t want mean to be.

I wish there was a way I could make this small feeling of being in denial go away. But I know that won’t happen until I hold my babygirl. 😭