I don’t know what to title this

My mom, let’s just say wasn’t a good mom. She had taken pain medicine to get high and use me for drug tests . Eventually she got on meth, she hates the doctor because of her drug abuse so when she’s bored I guess she goes on dr.google and self diagnosed herself with ptsd.

It makes my skin crawl because after I was raped and started to have ptsd she disregarded me AT 16!!!! And I honestly feel like she doesn’t have it, because for as long as I’ve known her she would look up on google “symptoms” and say oh well I must have this then. Sorry for this just needed to rant

Edit: I’m now 21; I’m finally going to get myself help for all of these including PPD. My mom was very emotionally and physically abusive. (By all of these I mean, her hitting me in my side, burning me with a cigarette, her taking a bullied side when I was about to get jumped because they were bored, rape at a friends house *after I told her I didn’t feel comfortable; she made me go* honestly the list goes on.) (the rape is back to bother me because I had a baby about 6 months ago and the pain downstairs was similar.