One year ago today.

Exactly one year ago today 04/10/2020 I received a positive test for my second baby I was over the moon and have done nothing but look forward to our future since.

Today 04/10/2021 my mom took her last breath. Only 46 yrs old. Days short of her birthday 04/21/74. Cancer took my mom from me. Our relationship wasn’t close. She was a drug addict who was in and out of prison and our life and relationship was complicated.

She got out of prison and we could tell she was going to do different this time. Try to build a relationship with her children and grandchildren. Then bam another injustice hits our family. My mom was sexually abused by her own father and other family members and men through out her life. Her mother was never there for her bc she was too selfish. My mother was pregnant and married at 14. To write out all the abuse she’s endured would take too long.

We thought she could pass as peacefully as possible with her children and family near and some man who knew my mother didn’t want a sexual relationship with him decided he would moleste my mother on her death bed right infront of her children, mother and grandchildren. I can’t wrap my mind around it. What did this poor women do to deserve assault after assault? Even while dying?

I never got to truly express to her that I had no anger. No resentment. That I loved her and knew her heart was pure.

One year ago today I was the happiest! Today I’m filled with a deep sadness.

Rip mom. You’ll be missed. I’m glad you’re no longer in pain and safe from the harm of others. I love you.