Only Mom should do it

I posted this in another group but wanted your ladies take on it.

I’ve been sick and I’ve even trying to use it as a way to get DH to step up as a parent. Have him take on bedtime because I’m the only one who does it. So far bedtimes have been going as such.

•night 1 - DH got up during the night to sleep in the living room because I was snoring from my cold and he needed rest. Left the baby monitor with me to hear our daughter. Even though he works from home and I took medicine to help me sleep. (Not a huge deal just annoying).

•night 2 - my daughter scream and scream so DH came and got me out of bed to “tag me in” after 15 minutes because he needed to sleep.

•night 3 - I handed my daughter to him after her bath. She cried because she’s still not used to him doing it. I sat down in the bath and he came in because she had thrown up. So I had to get out and clean her up and put her to bed.

•night 4 (last night) - after talking to him all week about how she’s not used to him and it will get better. It’s because he’s never helped until now and she’s 7 months old. I can’t do everything for her all the time. So last it was time to put her down and he ignored me. He made himself a cup of tea because his stomach is bothering him. So he sat down to sip his tea and I put her to bed (bed time is 9). She fell asleep a little after her normal time. Then an hour later she woke up with a gas bubble. He went and got her. I told him not to. I said just go in and sooth her and she’ll go right back down. Nope he brought her out. So then I took her back in and rocked her. She’s now wide awake. After an hour and a half I put her in her crib and came out and said I’m done for the night. She cried and I told him he could go rock her because I was done. So still feeling sick and drained from the week I took something to sleep and went to bed. Minutes later after hearing her scream and scream I go in her room. He’s playing on his phone and she’s in her crib screaming. I pick her up and he tells me “she just won’t stop”. So I check her diaper and sure enough she’s wet. So I change her, sit and rock with her. She’s so wired from screaming at this point the poor thing can’t settle. You can see she’s exhausted as I hold her. After a little bit I get her to settle down by singing to her. DH is laying on her floor to show his support. I get a big burp out of her and she settles down and goes to sleep.

When we get in bed DH tells me that it’s just gonna have to be me to do bedtimes. He said “I can’t hold her like you do and if it’s just Mom who she needs right now than that’s how it’s going to have to be.” End of discussion. I told him it’s because it’s only been me. I’ve been her routine for 7 months. That’s not fair to me and it will only get worse if we don’t do anything now. He can’t just be the one who plays with her for a couple hours in the evenings and that’s it.

So this morning I woke up because again he went into the living room to sleep and left me with the monitor. He’s a great husband of 10 years but nothing like the helping father I thought he was going to be. She already wants to be handle by me all day long to the point my shoulder hurts from her weight so now I’m using a carrier. That’s not an issue because I would chop off my arm for her if needed. Just making a point.

It’s not fair can work from home and have it easy all the time. I only get “me” time when I go grocery shopping and that’s not what me time should be. Anyone else in a similar boat?

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