Topic title goes here

Okay, lay it on me . Because I've made a big no-no.

Long story short, added my ex (honestly he was just a meaningless fling) on social media platform a little less than a year ago. We ended in eh..terms years ago. We both moved on, he married, I got married a few years after he did.

I've been married for almost 3 years now. No children, we're in the process of TTC.

I clearly had a lot of free time in my hands to talk to the ex via snapchat, we became a little closer most recently. Apparently, him and his wife are separated but they're getting counseling for it to patch it up (or so he says).

Lately, he's been sending me selfies of himself (with the cop uniform) but meaningless. Flirtatious compliments later were given by him.

Let me explain a little synopsis of my marriage: 14 years together, 3 years married. But husband and I don't have a lot of things in common, he does things that I don't like and vice versa, he's into WWE and comic book collector, I'm more of a going out/socialize and drinking wine. We definitely lack of communication, I want to do things he doesn't want to and vice versa.

Yes, I do feel horrible when I get buzzed with my friends and don't talk so highly about my husband. I feel like maybe once we settle in with TTC, maybe our marriage will be better.

Anyways, I'm in a high peak of my fertility window, and ex and I get in depth of talking more intimate, which I've clearly misunderstood and misled into this... yesterday, we went down memory lane. Yesterday was ovulation day, so I've been feeling, we're all adults here..I've been on a hormone, sexual tension behavior.

Anyways, ex wouldn't leave me alone, in fact, he would encourage it. So yesterday, there was crazy sexual tension between us via snapchat.

He decided to leave snapchat for the fact that he would like to work things up with his wife, but I thought we ended in peaceful terms and as a token of appreciation, i..sent him pics of my boudoir pics from 7+ years ago.

In my defense, the boudoir pics were almost like a peacemaker as closure. But i had accidently sent it to his IG instead of snapchat.

Lastnight, not going to lie, it was one of my best sexual performance with my husband ever. Possibly the wine, but I was sexually aroused by the ex, that got me all hyped up for the performance with the husband.

So, today...there was misunderstanding and ex shamed me and even called my husband "George contanza" he shamed me and I felt humiliated and mortified. All of that flirtatious behavior and taking me to memory lane and even encouraging me to partake into it was for nothing.

He was an ass to me and I felt so mortified and decided to block him from all social media platforms. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to have had an emotional affair with someone that wasn't my husband.

I know,I know. ..let the shaming begin. Let me go get ready for a wine. 🙄🙄😔😔😔

Tell me something encouraging and please do not verbally stone me for seeking sexually attention from a person that its not my husband. I know, I have to talk to my husband, but I don't know where to begin.

I don't want to bring children this way of my marriage.

Sincerely,

Mortified humiliated and confused