Feeling pressured to have sex

I am not feeling it with my husband lately. Ever since the last time we had sex, he said something very hurtful. Even in the past he has gotten an attitude with me for not giving him head right or wanted me to go longer even tho my jaw gets sore after 45 min. But the thing that he said the last time we had sex was so hurtful and it really took a stab at my confidence. Now when he asks to have sex or asks me to give him head I turn him down or say I’m not ready. He doesn’t understand, it’s not that I don’t want to be intimate with him, it’s that I’m veryyy afraid of opening up and being vulnerable with him and if I don’t preform well, he will be upset with me and I’ll be hurt that he’s upset and that I didn’t do it it right. 😞 on top of that, it’s hard to get in the mood when your husband is mean too often. If I don’t give him sex he becomes cold and distant. This makes me feel worse because I feel like if I’m not giving him sex then he doesn’t want me around and if I am around, we get into an argument somehow. I am writing this after leaving him in the bedroom this afternoon. I didn’t want him to see me cry so I came to the laundry room to do laundry. He asked me to have sex once today and asked for head three times within the past hour. And I just wanted to spend time with him. But after I didn’t give him head, he passive aggressively reminded me that I have other things I could do. So I left the room.

I just want to know how I can get over this and get my confidence back.

I don’t need anyone in the comments talking about divorce, we only just got married so that’s not a solution. Yes I was active with him prior to being hurt and would dress up and just give him head simply because he walked past me smelling fresh out the shower. But a part of the reason my confidence and esteem is shot is because he didn’t appreciate me going above and beyond when I did that. So how could I bring myself to be intimate with him doing anything less than that.

UPDATE: I should have included this before but he does know that I don’t liked being to in that way. We had a conversation about it and he already said he would work on it. But since the incident he still asks for sex. It looks like he has made an effort to improve it’s just that it’s not going well AT ALL. His temperament and unpredictability is too frequent for me to really get comfortable. It’s kinda of like someone cutting you and the putting a bandaid on it but they keep peeling it off and exposing the wound before it has a chance to heal. Best analogy I could think of.