*updated*Breaking points & your needs

If you’ve left a long-term relationship, what was your breaking point?

How long would you stay in a relationship for if you weren’t getting what you needed emotionally? Would you say you and your partner are equally emotionally invested?

It’s the only area my partner lacks in and I’m starting to wonder if I’m just asking too much from him. Maybe it’s me? Anyone else ever feel that way? Did you try to fix yourself or just leave?

Furthermore, is this gaslighting? Someone close to me mentioned emotional abuse when I told them I felt like I was asking for too much and I’d like an objective POV since she’s never liked my partner to begin with.

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Some of the things I’ve expressed I need:

-Him not to constantly point out my flaws: Yeah, I’ve got them, everyone has them but I don’t need them constantly rubbed in

-Him having no qualms complimenting other women: it’s not the compliment, it’s the fact that I NEVER get one, despite ANYTHING I do to my appearance, the house, etc., but he seems to find something good about every woman we come across that isn’t me

-His constant nagging about chores: dishes, laundry, you name it, it seems like nothing is good enough (I think he has some sort of OCD over it, it’s that bad, I’ve mentioned it and he’s brushed it off)

-His dismissal of me when we’re conversing with others: he has called me stupid or said “just don’t talk about this” right in front of others when I have tried to participate in conversations

-His refusal to discuss our future and constant excuses: we’re engaged but we haven’t discussed marriage or moving on and when I bring it up he says it’s because I need to do x,y,z

-His pressure on me to participate in social events: he’s very social and I am not, I’m fine with him doing whatever but he won’t let my no be no to certain outings

-His pressure on me to be an angel to his family, despite their attitude towards me: his family will make little jabs at me that he expects me to ignore and not say a word about and neither does he, I’ve asked him to either allow me to just say what I feel is necessary or to stick up for me and he said he doesn’t see an issue

I can go on but it’s pretty long already... hopefully y’all get the gist.... idk.. we’ve been together almost 8 years and I’m starting to FTFO that I’ve almost wasted a decade on someone that doesn’t value me?? I feel fucking crazy.

I’ve expressed all this and more. He’s a great supporter and a business owner so I know he’s stressed and busy but his response was that he was “maxxed out” on what he was putting into this relationship and that I was asking for too much. I’ve been sick to my stomach over this for days because if I stay I’m committing myself to this and if I leave, it’ll hurt and I’m petrified of the unknown. I don’t feel like either is a good answer.