How do i work through this?

I started having sex at 20, it’s been years and I still cannot orgasm with my partner. I love him, I’m attracted to him, but honestly these damaging beliefs I grew up with make it impossible. I also have a lot of nervousness during sex. When I was growing up I believed that sex was supposed to be for men. That it was all men cared about, and women were supposed to be innocent and pure, because if you did it he wouldn’t love you anymore and no other guy would want someone used. I thought women were just supposed to do it for men and it wasn’t something for them to enjoy, and I always felt like I was wrong for having sexual desires, like it made me dirty. This is all based on things my family said when I was growing up, now as an adult I know these things are not true but they’re so ingrained into me that I have a lot of issues with sex. I have a hard time opening up, being vulnerable and letting myself enjoy it and lose control. I have this wall built up. I love my boyfriend, he’s very sex positive and wants to give me a good time. I just seem to climb into a shell. I feel like I have to cover up, or hide from it. I want to work through this so badly, I just don’t know how. I can orgasm by myself, I know my body works, it just feels like something secretive to be ashamed up. Please know that’s not how I feel, and I don’t judge anyone, i only have these thoughts about myself. Has anyone else dealt with this, how do I get through it?