This is the worst thing I ever went through...

I thought finding out my husband of 14 years was cheating on me and him leaving was the worst thing I would ever go through... But it wasn't. Anyone who has been following my story, I'm a gay dad with a now 4 year old daughter and a baby girl. Me and my soon to be ex husband had them through a surrogate. My soon to be ex husband told me he had been cheating on me and wanted a divorce because he's bored. It was hard. He left me for a guy barely legal. After I finally started to heal I tried to hook up with this guy I met at pride and it ended with me crying because my husband was my first everything. Be comforted me and told me we didn't have to have sex and we can just cuddle. When my ex saw him(he still has the key to my house) he got mad and later tried to get back together and when I declined he called me a fuck boy...

Our daughters went to see my ex. Me and my ex were being civil. When I dropped then off he asked how I had been and apologized for how he reacted. I said I was fine, just suffering from insomnia. He asked if I wanted an Ambien. Those knock me out so I said thx and got one. I was gonna go to a rodeo thing with my failed hook up guy because we have become friends but I just wanted to sleep so I canceled. I was watching HBO MAX and took an Ambien and fell asleep on my couch...

I wake up to my soon to be ex husband on top of me having sex with me.... He looked terrified that I woke up and got off. I asked wtf he was doing and he wouldn't answer. He just quickly put on his pants and tried to run out the door. I asked where the girls were and he muttered with his mom and left quickly... I never changed that fucking lock and he got in by using his key... I just sat there... Even though he cheated on me I still held on to those memories... Those 14 years... Our wedding... Our first kiss.. Our first time... When I saw him on top of me he burnt those last 14 years to the ground. I just sat on the couch and cried. I didnt know what to do so I went to the guy I met at pride house. He asked what was wrong and I cried. I told him and he just listened. When I finished crying I said I needed to get my girls but he said "No. First you need to go to the police". I couldn't do that. This was my kids father too. I couldn't take him away but then my friend said one day the girls will find out what their papa did to their daddy and since their daddy didn't do anything, they'll think it's ok to do that.. So after 2 hours of trying to convince me I craved and went to the police. They did a rape kit on my anus and my girls are now home with me.... Idk what's gonna happen next.. I just know the last 14 years of my life are nothing now...