Botched Episiotomy repair?

Question

I’m sorry if this is TMI but I’m devastated and have no idea where else to vent because this is so personal.
It’s almost been 6 weeks and I’m no longer in pain down there except for when I go #2 and even then it’s not so bad. I was excited about potentially getting cleared for sexual activity so I decided just to take a little peek and see how everything is looking down there
Oh my god. I feel like I’ve been butchered. My repair literally looks like it was done by someone who hates women. I expected it to look different but not like this. It’s crooked as hell, and there’s a little hole in it near my butt that never closed. It’s slightly smaller than the tip of a pencil eraser. Maybe I’m being dramatic but I just want to cry. I looked while it was still healing and everyone assured me that it would be fine once all the swelling went down and it was fully healed, but it’s still fucking awful.

Answer

Honest I wouldn't bother going to an ob or anything like that I would look into a plastic surgeon

Answer

I was like you I think and I went twice to the ob but like at ten weeks pp when I was thinking getting a plastic surgery it went back almost to normal and even sex feel better.

Answer

For the hole, at this point things should be closed. A small hole would have been able to close on its own normally in six weeks regardless of the repair, so there may be something in the way of healing—sometimes your body can make something called granulation tissue (it’s like the body’s attempt to close a wound but it has the wrong structure). Granulation tissue can be fixed with medicine sometimes, or sometimes it needs to be cut out so the body can try again to close a wound (you would just need the open area re-opened, not the whole epis). Or, sometimes the body can be unusually slow at healing. Postpartum we have a lower estrogen and this can make healing happen slower, so sometimes estrogen cream can help. (Although estrogen cream helps more over a year that’s not quite fully healed over the mucosal surface rather than skin between the vagina and anus.) Or, your body may be rejecting a piece of suture, especially if there is a knot under where the hole is.
For the crookedness, it depends on how it’s crooked. It’s normal for an epis to not be straight up and down, and being angled to the side can help it avoid going through the anal sphincter. It’s also normal for it to zig-zag because of how the skin is pulled on either side. The scar will probably fade and look smaller over time.
If it’s crooked because the bottom of the labia don’t seem to line up with each other, then they may have been, well, not lined up well. If you had a lot of swelling that might have pulled some stitches through or made it harder to line things up right. You can get a surgery to re-align things especially if the problem is right at the vaginal opening. The best person to do that surgery is probably a gynecologist or uro-gynecologist, not a plastic surgeon. 
I recommend going in to the postpartum checkup with your gynecologist and telling them your concerns and asking what can be done. If you feel comfortable with them and like they are taking your concerns seriously, they may be able to fix the repair themselves. If you don’t feel comfortable with them (because you feel your concerns are not being addressed, or you would just like someone else to look at it) then you can ask to see another gynecologist in the practice, or find another gynecologist outside the practice for a second opinion.

Botched Episiotomy repair?

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