Would you keep this mom friendship OR is it me?


How do you moms handle your mom friendships and the expectations? I have a friend who is nice but is very very sensitive and sometimes she rubs me the wrong way. If I take a couple of weeks to see her, she gets offended. But also play dates with her son are hard cause my son doesn’t really enjoy playing with her son. Her son is rough, he’s constantly either pushing my son, yanking him, taking whatever he has. My son usually runs away from him because he’s afraid. One time, he poured Ajax in my sons entire head, he’s thrown sand in his hair, small rocks etc. But I also have two kids, a toddler and 10 month and even that, my babysitter works for 4 days a week so if I have play dates with her, then my babysitter isn’t really working and my husband wants to leave weekends to hang out with the kids and I.

One day, we were supposed to go swimming to her house but I got into a fight with my husband and he ended up getting chest pains and was feeling sick. So he asked if we could stay with him because his heart was in pain. He has a history of strokes in his family so he’s always cautious. So I called my friend to explain that I couldn’t make it and explained and her response was that next time I should fix, solve the issues in my house before I make plans with them which I found very rude cause I’d never say that to her. I’ve never cancelled on her generally for the last three years.

Then today was her birthday. My family wanted to go see her in the morning but she said they were away from home so we made plans and left home. I call her at 1pm and tell her we would pass by later to drop off her gifts. She then asked if I’d bring my son because her son likes playing with him. I said sure. But she also noted that her son gets ready for bedtime at 5:30 so coming earlier would be better. But we got back close to 6pm. At that point I texted ahead before reaching her house and said since it’s late for all of us, we will just drop the gifts. I get to her house but before we parked, my husband had asked me not to delay since we had to go home, make dinner, feed the kids, he was also super tired and our baby was sleeping. So I tell her I can’t stay and have us play but we can have a play date on Wednesday. She gets upset, says it’s her birthday and says she doesn’t want gifts that mean nothing and that I’m constantly disappointing them. Mind you my husband woke early to go buy her a $70 beautiful expensive bouquet of flowers, balloons and we went to lush to buy her stuff.

She says I don’t make them a priority and that I want to see them when it’s convenient but her kid goes to preschool 5 days a week too. She wants to have activities like at 10am, our house wakes up later because our kids wake up at 9am and we go to bed late, and sometimes our baby wakes up at night so we do get tired. Then she said we don’t really invite them to our house but the few times I’ve invited her, most times, she has some reason not to come. I even told her she can come on Fridays since her house cleaners are at her place but she never followed thru. Part of me feels like I’m being criticized. Am I being sensitive or what?