I feel like I am jinxing myself by testing

Every month I can’t resist testing from 5 days before my period and the negatives of course knock your confidence. I keep saying don’t test till day of your period. I feel like that one time I don’t test early, might be the one and my stupid mind I’m thinking I don’t get preg cause I test two early. It’s weird the things you tell yourself. Like for example when was pregnant with my daughter I so wanted a girl after 3 boys I painted my nails every week pink as if that was gunna some how give good vibes. Complete nonsense I no but weird how the mind works.