Need someone to hear me out and advice/thoughts are appreciated

Hi….Ive been married for 4 years and was struggling with infertility for about 3.5 years. We finally had our miracle baby in April 2021 this year. We are legally separating and hopefully divorcing in a years time if all goes well. My baby is only 3 months old.

My husband struggles with depression and anxiety and it has gotten worse over the years. First year married it was normal and fine. 2nd year onwards it got worse and worse. He works a high profile job and it’s over 80-100+ hours a week. So he barely has any time for himself, yet alone me and the baby and our dogs. He’s highly stressed and easily annoyed or ticked off. He feels trapped in his job and life with me. He blames me for everything. Bad mouths me infront of all our family and friends. Even called my parents to tell them to find a divorce lawyer for me. He’s out of control.

He’s been verbally abusive towards me, and has threatened me many times with divorce. I literally try not to aggravate him and walk on eggshells around him. He gets angry, so angry that he punches and breaks down walls and doors in the house. He even hit our dogs (as in beating them up). So I’m scared that one day it will be in my direction or the baby’s direction. We even tried counselling and that didn’t work. He’s been saying he wants to suicide and attempted it. One day it got out of hand and he left the house with a bag (don’t know what’s in the bag). So I called the police genuinely scared of him hurting himself or other people around him. They came and took him to the hospital.

His family always blames me for everything. No ones supportive. Only told me to don’t talk to him and to just listen to him. His mom was here when he flipped out and was beating one of our dogs. She did this 🤫 and told me to let him do what he needs to do. That’s really messed up because to me that is not right it is animal abuse. But I was also scared incase he switched to hit me instead. I was only 3 weeks post partum. And this was after he hit a hole in the wall and broken down our bedroom door. Just because we had a disagreement.

He would say things like I have 3 degrees I’m smarter than everyone you know. Why don’t you listen to me? He told me I’m not on his level. That I have to make up for it. He’s told all his family and friends he wants to get a divorce with me. And that I’m terrible in all these different ways. He takes his family’s words into account but my thoughts and feelings are not valid.

Anyway long story short I’m traumatized by everything and scared that he will hurt my baby and me and our dogs. I filed for separation. And now he said he never meant that and wants us back together.

Anyone have any advice? I’m scared and not to mention I am on EI and am just 3 months post partum… just know I don’t want to have a husband like that or for my baby to grow up in that kind of unstable and unsafe environment.

I constantly feel very sad because this was suppose to be one of the happiest moments of our lives with our miracle baby. But it turned out like this. And family and friends who just had a baby are all enjoying their little one and all their husbands are so helpful and loving.

Forgot to mention that he never even helped out with the baby. He’s so busy with work. I just let him be and keep to myself. He gets full sleep while I’m up with the baby 24/7.