I am 26, married with 2 babies and for some reason I have a GUT feeling all the time that my husband is cheating for our whole relationship or has cheated. I have anxiety and just last year started taking an antidepressant & antipsychotic….my anxiety has been bad all my life and even worse after children.

My husband is the greatest man that has ever loved me. We even work together for his business since a few months ago. We have sex everyday. We have been so loving and intimate so much this past month..but after a rough year of covid and a suspicion of him being touchy with a good female friend of his. They met at the gym when she was his trainer. He’s a pro athlete so it’s nothing new to me he wants to get extra help to be in shape. They text all the time. The messages seem harmless; They are long messages back and fourth. But whatever.

We were at a work party and she was there, he passed by her by grabbing her hip and I saw red, all my fears just confirmed with one touch. It’s one thing to tap a shoulder to pass by but if you put a hand on a woman’s hip it shows your interest in her and needing to touch her somehow to show that. He got so mad and felt so disrespected and gaslit me, didn’t even feel any compassion and it made me doubt myself until this day. It also lead to conversation about divorce (Other issues contributing to our marriage too) but we decided to save our marriage and it’s been going well.

Even though we are great, he gets a lot of random women’s attention and they try to pursue him but “nothing happens” or so he says. He has a lot of friendly convos some point they somehow exchange numbers, women of all ages, married and single. I cannot shake this panic attack feeling that he’s done something behind my back. I must be crazy, please someone give me advice on how to calm myself down with these suspicions to where I have dreams of him cheating on me, every single night.

I love this man but I went to spy on him and do a stakeout with my kids in the car for the first time today, because at 7:30 pm after work he wanted to go to the gym and wouldn’t be home by 9 or “whenever he gets home” is what he says.

Other little things that have heightened my anxiety about him cheating

-liking posts of unrealistic bodies of women

-making innocent “shes hot” comments

-being out late, taking longer to come home than expected

Please no judgement I need advice. I truly want to know what anyone has done to stop thinking like this.