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We live 3 hours away from family and will have no help. It’s possible. But if help is something you wish for, then don’t move yet or hire help.
Newly pregnant and moving to a new state with little family support
TLDR: pregnant with first baby (5 weeks) and considering moving to another state away from our family for job opportunities
Hi all! My husband and I have been together for the last 10 years and I’ve just gotten pregnant for the first time. I discontinued birth control last year cause we felt we were ready for a kid and I just found out I’m like 5 weeks pregnant now.
I’ve been in school for 7 years working towards a big goal and I applied to a few out of state jobs prior to knowing I would soon be pregnant. I was offered a job in NYC and it seems like an amazing opportunity and I feel it would make me stronger professionally in the long run. My husband continues to say “we’re going to take the best opportunity that’s offered” so he says he’s definitely willing to move as well. Our entire family lives in Utah though and we would only know a two people in NYC. We’re also considering a job in WA state which would be a little easier adjustment but we have zero friends or family there; however we’d be closer to home so family could more easily travel up and stay with us to help if they wanted to (which I already know the grandmas do.)
My question is, do y’all think it’s crazy to move right now during this time when we’re bringing our first baby into the world?
I feel selfish moving away from our family as I know they really want to be around the baby but also we’ve been working towards this career goal a long time and my husband is just as adamant as I am that we take the best opportunity, even if it’s out of state.
We’ve discussed getting a nanny to help as I’ll likely only take a month off before working full-time again and my husband works full time as well from home. We know it’d be incredibly challenging but we have been so excited about these next steps and I think we could make it through. But any advice anyone might have would be greatly appreciated!
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It’ll be challenging especially with a new baby in the midst but honestly you have to do what’s best for your family. If that means taking a new job elsewhere then do it. At the end of the day it’s what you guys feel is best! It’s not hard to get back into the car or plane and go see your family . Just have to remind them of that 🙂 good luck
de
Exactly and even more of a thing to tell your in laws, it’s not a forever thing, it’s just so you can get better off for your family. They’ll be sad of course but it’s not forever! Believe me we just had to do that. We just moved from Arizona where my husbands father and brother and grandma are to Pennsylvania where my mom is, and they were all upset but once we get stuff situated here we’ll probably go back. It was hard because I was very close to delivery but we had to be back before.. but we just update them a lot and let them know it’s not a forever thing ❤️
Ni
That’s so true, thank you for the advice Devynn. I feel like a selfish person moving away cause it’s my in-laws first grandbaby but you’re right, we have to do what’s best for our family in the long run. Plus we plan to move back to our hometown once I have some experience established so it’s not forever. Thanks again😊
Honestly, only having a month off sounds insane to me. Your body will have not even close to healed… having family support is great but not 💯 necessary.
Ni
If I need more time I’ll definitely take more but if I deliver vaginally and remain healthy/no complications, I’m hoping that’ll be sufficient. Especially since my jobs not physical
So what’s best for your family! I’ve always said that. You don’t stick around just to keep others happy. I’m living in a different country than my family and we moved about an hour and a half away from my husbands family. It’s all for a better life for my kids and our little family is what’s most important.It’s hard being a first time mom but that doesn’t mean they can’t visit or even stay with you (if you prefer) for a week or so after the baby is born for that extra bit of help.
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