Haven't seen my son in 3 months

My 15 almost 16 year old lives with his dad. I have had to pay child support for him the past 5 years. I have been behind so they are most likely gonna completely garnish my taxes which I've been really needing the money. Now I'm paying child support for a child who won't see me. He has told the court he rather kill himself then ever see me again. And signing away my rights isn't an option. Court won't let me unless his dad's boyfriend is willing to step up in my place. To my son I'm just a wicked women but he doesn't ever admit his faults in our relationship. No one acknowledges that he called me a bitch because he said I always body shame him which don't, he just takes it that way. All men are the same. They just say that you're the problem and try to make me believe Ive done something wrong when not one time have I ever done anything wrong. I hope he never has a girlfriend because if he can't even treat his mother right he will be a terrible partner. Done with this kid.