Really sad

So I'm ttc bc he wanted to and I've had 3 youngest is 11 ...I'll be 38 9/20 ad due 9/21 ... Today is predicted ovulation day yet I feel i may have ovulated early 1 or 2 days bc of ovulation tests (never used them before) We only had sex once actually the only time since 8/16 ... He had a heart attack in July and switched jobs and is out of meds for now....

Been trying for 9 months now.. Had a miscarriage in Feb

Feeling like it's to late and it'll never happen I never even thought of it...then he talked it up and its been stressful bout only are my needs in general not being met...trying to conceive when he's always sleeping isnt going to work and maybe he's not shooting strong swimmers. I told took if it doesn't stick I'm done trying. It's emotionally painful for me to keep trying when we could be holding our baby in a few weeks am I wrong for giving up? He isnt matching my energy and I'm questioning everything....(also I have cptsd and def in a ptsd moment so maybe I'm overreacting)