This is the first time he’s going on a holiday like this, as it’s the year before university and they want to go on a trip, obviously they chose Amsterdam the city of drugs and sex. Now my thing is when I heard I was like ooo fun, but now I’m deeping it too much. All his friends are single and young so we all know the stuff they’ll want to do, my boyfriend said he wants to try shrooms and I encourage him because he should experiment while also obviously being responsible, I want to try them too. And they’ll probably go to the red district to get some of the guys hooked up with an escort you know for the ‘experience’. But point is I don’t know why I’m a little afraid considering the circumstances, like I do trust him to be loyal while he is aware and conscious, but I don’t know if him being in an environment of everybody fucking everybody and him being on drugs could potentially lead him to do things he won’t remember because he’s not conscious.

I guess all I want is reassurance, because I’m thinking about it too much, creating scenarios in my head and making myself upset over something that hasn’t even happened.