Intrusive thoughts

***trigger warning***

I'm not sure what to do. I've been having intrusive thoughts about harming myself. I have struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts before as a teenager but got better when I had my son at 18, I'm 22 now and 7 weeks postpartum with my second child. I just feel like everything goes wrong and even though its normal stuff people have to go through I just can't take it and can't seem to catch a break. Like tonight my son went to my parents house for a sleepover and I needed a little break from him and I was almost asleep and then I get a call from my dad that my son is homesick and crying to come home. I really needed a break for just a bit and I can't even get that. It feels like once one thing is finally sorted out 10 more issues pop up and I'm drowning. I can't get back to sleep even though I know I need whatever bit of sleep I can get because I'm too damn stressed about so much. I'm trying to clean to distract myself from these bad thoughts but I don't know what to do to make it stop. I want to sleep but my brain keeps thinking about everything that's stressing me out and as soon as I'm almost asleep something happens that I have to get up and deal with. I just want to run away or die to escape for a while.