I just need to vent..

I have no one to talk to about this and just really feeling depressed and sad.

I’m 3 months pp, just bought a house, my engagement ring is bought and my boyfriend won’t take off his wedding ring even though he doesn’t need to have it on.

Some days he’s so sweet and caring.. then other days he’s off the wall, rude and he’s went so far as to say he hates me. Which if you love someone like he says he does and has a kid with me… you wouldn’t or shouldn’t say that. He had deleted Snapchat when he got home- I know he messages other girls but I got on mine yesterday and he’s redownloaded it again. He messages quite a few girls on there and has an old friend or fwb girl who he sent a picture to of me holding our son literally right after I gave birth and they put your baby on your chest.. Which makes me feel like crap. Then I wake up this morning to him going to the bathroom so I waited because I was going to cuddle him…

He starts watching porn and the first thing I hear is your girlfriends not going to like this and something about liking this p***y. Of which I know he’s watched porn on our tv, the porn type was cheating on girlfriend. I just pushed out our son and I’ve tried to be intimate with him and keep him satisfied and he never wants it. But then watch’s that and I just don’t understand why. I feel like I’m throwing myself out there and I’ve quit the past few times. Just let him come to me.

There’s a lot more than this, I just can’t type it out. I want our home to be a happy home.. not a broken one like mine growing up. I’m trying so hard to make this work. When will I be enough. Are all guys like this when they have a gf/wife that takes care of everything?? Who birthed them a child? 😔 then friends that you thought would be there for you and to see your baby just stop being there altogether. Gone.. I’ve got 0 family I can talk to.. just really feeling down.