On the meds again

So this post is just a bit of an emotional release. I suffer from Chronic Severe Constipation and have done since birth - for whatever reason my bowels do not function without medication.

I was on medication from birth until I was about 7ish, then I had to start taking them around age 11, I briefly came off them when I was 12 then had to go back on them pretty quickly again a few months later and change the type of medication.

When I was 17 I had almost managed to get to the point where my bowels were starting to function properly, I was on one sachet a week. Then I got the flu and had to go back to the beginning again, 1-2 sachets everyday.

Around May 2021 I started taking anti depressants and they had a laxative effect, and I had to stop taking my meds, which again I had reduced to a couple times a week. So I thought that these antidepressants were working for both my body and my mind.

That is until the past two weeks. For whatever reason my body has decided to not function properly anymore and now I'm back on the meds. I am really sad about this.

I feel that this illness is kinda rare and I feel embarrassed by it a lot. Right now my stomach is hurting a fair bit, it feels as hard as a rock (kinda like I've got abs but no, it's just shit), and I keep feeling nauseous. I thought I had finally found something that works, but no. I haven't.

The side effects of the meds aren't Pleasant either - really smelly and gassy, they taste disgusting and make me feel sick, and around my period I get this really horrible sick feeling that makes me go goose bumpy and unable to move from the toilet for a good few hours as it feels like my body is just really forcing all the shit out of me it's a really awful experience.

I have tried all kinds of things, high fibre diets, cutting out lactose, drinking more fluids, eating more fruit and veg, exercise etc. But nothing works. I am sad.

I feel kinda lonely too because its not like there's a proper name for it, not IBS or Crohn's disease or anything. I don't know anyone like me with this condition, I don't even know why my bowels don't work either. It's just shit.

So if there is anyone out there who have a similar condition, please let me know how you cope with it or just let me know I'm not the only one.