Am I selfish?

Question

I have two sons, a 3 and 8 year old. They’re with different guys and the guy I’m with now only has one child and that’s our 3 year old together. He’s ok with not having any more children if that’s what I want. Our 3 year old starts 4K next year so after that we will be done with daycare which is almost $800 a month. Financially I feel we could have another child but we’re comfortable now and I would like to stay that way. My boyfriend is an only child so his parents really will only have one real grandchild (one step grandson, which is my 8 year old) and they make me feel selfish for not wanting more children as I said I’d rather save the money I’d spend on daycare, diapers, formula, clothing ect… I am starting to believe I am being selfish because of that but I really don’t want anymore children. Ugh

Answer

Are they paying for daycare and necessities for more grandkids? Are they willing to babysit for free  or a low cost so you can work and not worry about paying for daycare? Are they doing the sleepless nights while also caring for the other kids? 
If no to all those, then they have no say.

Answer

Your in-laws here are the selfish ones! They are trying to guilt YOU into having another child that you’re not 100% on board with. They are shitty people. If they wanted more kids, they had their chance and chose to have just one, that’s on them. You are obligated to NO ONE to have more children.

Answer

Not having (more) kids is never selfish. Trying to guilt someone into having kids is very selfish. Fuck them

Answer

Wow. 
Im in the same situation. I have a 5 year old with my ex and a 6 week old with my boyfriend. Im 1000000% done having children. If anyone dared called me selfish that’d be the last time we speak. I don’t see how any mother who created and raises any number of children could be called selfish. 
They are the selfish ones

Answer

You aren't just a baby machine. It's your body and your choice. If they want another baby to love then they can go adopt one.

Answer

That is so gross. You get to have however many kids YOU want to have and that’s the end of the discussion. Their input matters exactly zero.

Answer

I wouldn’t want to have a child because someone pressured me I to it. It’s a decision that only you and your significant other should make

Answer

They’re selfish for making you feel this way for their gain.

Answer

You are not at all selfish. They are the selfish ones. Nobody has ANY right to expect someone ELSE to have children. Its your body, your finances, your life.  Also, id expect them to treat all 3 of my children as equal grandchildren.

Answer

If they want another grandbaby, then I'd tell them to pay up $1,100/month to cover daycare and diaper/food costs.

Am I selfish?

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