Relationship with my dad

I love my dad dearly. I was a huge daddies girl growing up so what’s happening is heart breaking to me but he won’t talk to me.

The older my dad gets which he’s in his 60’s the more I notice him changing.

He’s nice sometimes and sometimes he’s just hateful.

And it’s pushing me away and I hate that. I can’t even speak to him when 8/10 times he’ll just be short and go to his room and slam the door.

I know it’s me because he’ll come out and talk to his granddaughter like nothings wrong but as soon as I talk, he gets an attitude again and goes back to his room.

It sucks. My uncle just died recently of not taking his medication ( what we think happened ) & having a heart attack. My dad is also bad about taking his blood pressure medication and has been complaining of the same feeling his heart gave him when he had clogged arteries but he won’t go to the doctor.. so I’m angry. I don’t want to wake up and find you dead. I don’t want to argue with you and you leave and get in a wreck. I know bad thoughts but it happens.. lately I don’t want our conversations being our last.

Today all I did was sneak the remote and say “can we pleaseeeee change the news, it’s so depressing and just repeating itself rn” ( all he does is watch the news )

And i was like no go to your room to watch and I was explaining how hard it is in a room with a toddler where out here she has a play room etc, and plus I need rearrange my room because my tv doesn’t plug into the outlet it won’t reach but it’s all to heavy for me to move by myself. And he had to start making rude comments about how my room is never cleaned and being hateful when all I asked was to watch some Chicago pd ( other than the news his fav ) and it turns into hateful comments and I just think it’s uncalled for, and I told him that.

As soon as I come home from work he goes to his room.

When I’m off work, I vacuum, do dishes, clean my daughters room and our bathroom, my bedroom is usually last since all we do is sleep in there so I do have clothes I’m going through to donate to some families I know struggling so it’s a little messy, but nothing crazy just a couple boxes full of clothes and diapers for people.

I’m a single momma, I do what I can. I moved back in with my parents during my divorce when I was pregnant ( they offered ) I’m in school for my bachelors degree right now. I’m working on gaining money to buy my first place.

But I don’t want my dad to hate me.

The first thing he said to me this morning was the fact I didn’t do dishes last night yet him snd my mom were off work and I worked late and had errands to run when I got home, etc. I didn’t even go to bed until 11pm.. I’m trying.