Relationships after SA/traumatic childhood? Are there good people out there?

Trigger warning 🚨

So I’m 21 and haven’t been in a real relationship and I’m starting to realize how scared I actually am of them. I was sexually assaulted twice as a kid, once by one guy and multiple times by another. The second guy not only sexually assaulted me, but he stalked me and threatened me. Growing up I also heard about my mom being in physically abusive relationships and she forced us to be in her life (parents are divorced) during those times. Either that or she’d forget about us when a new guy came around. I won’t go too much into it, but some of those guys threatened to harm or kill my siblings and I and I always heard how they’d strangle my mom and see pictures of the bruises. It went on from when I was about 10 to 16 and now she’s in a relationship where she’s the emotional abuser to a really great guy who deserves none of it. It makes me sick seeing how she treats him.

Well I can’t help but be scared of relationships and super suspicious and careful of any men I’m not close with. I’ve seen so much of that stuff that I’m scared I’ll get into an abusive relationship where it starts off good and then it all changes. It’s a HUGE fear of mine. Either that or my triggers and the time it takes for me to get comfortable with physical intimacy will be too much for them. I don’t want to be a burden.

Can anyone give me little reassurance and tell me that there are good guys out there? Ones that understand and respect you and your boundaries? That don’t think you’re broken because of your trauma?