Should I stay with my boyfriend?

Hi ladies,

It’s a bit complicated to explain but basically I’m at a kind of boarding school/camp in another country right now and am struggling to maintain feelings for my boyfriend (25, Icelandic) in our long distance relationship and if I’m being honest, am also catching feelings for a guy at the program (18, Nepali). I’m 19 and from the U.S.

For context, my boyfriend is nothing short of amazing. He treats me really well, is thoughtful, kind, intelligent, ambitious, and we call every day. We met in Iceland while I was volunteering there in October and have been seeing each other for about 5 months now. We haven’t had any real issues or fights in our relationship and overall everything is going smoothly. I’ve been at this boarding school abroad since around mid-January though (I’ll be here until the end of June) and recently I feel like it’s been difficult to maintain my feelings for him. He’s nice and everything and so good to me but it’s just hard to keep the passion. I feel like our interactions have been a little bland lately and also when I first met him I didn’t really feel that special “spark,” and I feel like that’s been becoming more apparent lately. Since I was volunteering in Iceland, I’ve seen him once (in the beginning of January) and at that time I felt like we got a lot closer and I was feeling really in love, but now I’m not so sure.

So now for guy #2. I met him in the middle of January when I started at this school and almost instantly felt a connection. He was always staring at me and then one day we just started talking to each other and really hit it off. He had an on-and-off girlfriend when he arrived but broke up with her about a week ago. He also knows that I have a boyfriend. I’ve been struggling with my mental health a lot since I’ve been here and he’s been amazing at checking up on me all the time, making sure I’m staying safe, and just that I’m okay overall. I hit a really bad low recently where I was close to self harming and he stayed with me the whole night in one of the common rooms to be there for me. My boyfriend has also supported me through most of my struggles but lately I don’t feel like he really understands the extent of my problems, but maybe mostly because he’s not seeing me all day every day like guy #2. Guy #2 and I spend most of our time with each other every day and there’s really just so much chemistry between us. I’m not a cheater and would never do anything with him while I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend, but I genuinely consider breaking up with my boyfriend every day to be with guy #2, which makes me feel horrible because my boyfriend has done nothing wrong. But guy #2 and I just “get” each other and I feel so drawn to him. The only real downsides to guy #2 are that unfortunately he smokes and is struggling to quit, and he also is more traditional because of the culture he comes from than my very progressive Icelandic boyfriend. Mostly though he just seems ignorant about some things with women because he hasn’t had the opportunity to learn and seems open to broadening his horizons. Also, Nepal is much harder for me to travel to on a regular basis.

Lastly, even if I don’t break up with my boyfriend to be with guy #2, I just wonder if it makes sense to stay with him if I’ve learned that I could have stronger feelings for someone than the ones I have for my boyfriend. Maybe it’s really just the distance that’s making me feel this way, but I’m just so lost and don’t want to hurt anyone but also don’t want to be stuck in a potentially doomed relationship. I could really use some advice. Sorry for the long post!