How do you stop being triggered, sensitive and offended about things?

Question

In relationships. How do you stop being so defensive and upset when it comes to difficult conversations? More importantly how do you stop being so controlling and worried about what the other person is doing all the time instead of focusing on yourself and your own life and problems?
I tried therapy for almost 2 years. Maybe I need a different therapist?

Answer

In your therapy sessions… 
Do you mention that you are controlling? 
Do you mention that you need help expressing your emotions in a healthy way during arguments? 
Do you mentioned that you are constantly worried about what the other person is doing? 
If not, I would start there. Therapy only works when you really are willing to put in the work and look at yourself. Additionally, it could take far longer than two years with any therapist to get to a place where you are the person you want to be. However, you could try a different therapist if you think it would help. Ask your therapist what type of therapy they use. Ideally for these types of issues, a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy is your best bet. 
Becoming aware of your thinking patterns and behavior, figuring out the root cause, and consciously choosing a different way to think and behave is what you need to do. It often stems from feelings of inadequacy. The ego doesn’t like to be wrong… takes things personally… is afraid of being hurt… And tries to control to avoid that. So the key is to recondition your mind to have a new more positive thinking pattern. But with that said, it is OK to have feelings and if people are crossing boundaries, you are not being too sensitive. You’re allowed to have feelings. It is how you express those feelings that is very important. ￼

Answer

Couples counseling and/or individual therapy

Answer

Counseling and therapy

How do you stop being triggered, sensitive and offended about things?

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