Sister hurt my feelings

I want to start off explaining a few things, so hopefully I don’t miss any details.

My sister works on the road (runs a district of stores) and part of her district is within the area I live.

She has a husband and son (he’s the same age as my son 1.5 years old ) he’s a stay at home dad, she’s gone a lot for work.

I’m a stay at home mom to a 3 year old girl, 1.5 year old boy, and currently pregnant

Anyways.

She has spent the last 2 nights at my house. (Gone all day, just shows up to sleep)

This morning she had to visit two of her stores and then she was going to be heading home. She asked if me and the kids wanted to go to town with her to get coffee before she finished up her work and left town. I said sure and that is sounded like fun. (I was pretty excited because I don’t get much adult interaction during the week.)

Well she ended up making breakfast for herself and I which was super nice and I was cleaning up the kitchen afterwards and she was working on her work computer at the table. My children were a bit whiney this morning and she kept saying how she is “overwhelmed” finally I asked her why and she said said no offense but I get really overwhelmed when trying to work with yelling kids.

So I told her she can use my room to do her work stuff to get away from the noise.

She declined and said it was fine.

Next she decided to do her make up on my living room floor and of course my daughter was really excited because she loves make up and was asking all sorts of questions like wanting to do her make up and my 1.5 year old kept trying to get in her make up bag.

I did what I could, but finally I suggested she do her make up in my bathroom. She declined, but kept saying how the kids are overwhelming her “joking like”

I tried not to take it personal, but I was getting a little annoyed because she is doing her makeup on the floor with 2 little kids, really excited to see her. It was a situation she put herself in and I kept hearing she was overwhelmed. I ended up holding my 1.5 year old to distract him so she could finish up.

Finally she finished getting ready and told me she had to get going and thanked me for letting her crash at my house.

I asked her if the coffee plans were off because the kids and I didn’t have a chance to get ready.

And she told me she doesn’t have time and needs to get on the road

And I was pretty much like okay…I didn’t realize we were on the time frame otherwise I would have left the kitchen and got ready and the kids ready too.

And she is ended up telling me the kids overwhelmed her and thats why she doesn’t want to get coffee anymore.

She’s got a 1.5 year old too..she should know how it goes. My kids are very wild compared to her little boy.. but I’m they were just excited to see her. Plus my 3 year old was super excited to be going to town with auntie. When she left my 3 year old cried we ended up going and getting coffee (kids get a dessert treat from the coffee shop ) without her.

I feel pretty hurt. she has no idea I am hurt. Idk if I am being dramatic or not.

I took it a bit personal. These are my kids.. kids are kids. They are toddlers…

Any advice?

I also want to add… she is not super involved in her boys life.. always gone for work, so I am trying not to take it personal that she is overwhelmed so easy my children.. but I don’t want to feel like my children are an inconvenience..

I think if she asks to stay at my house next time she comes to the area I am going to suggest she find s hotel? But I don’t want to be petty.. or not sure if the pregnancy hormones are making me extra sensitive. I just don’t want to turn nothing into something.

Update:

Thank you everyone who commented. I feel less crazy in my feelings. Yes, she is a very absent parent, so i shouldn’t be so surprised.

Next time, there will be no next time. I am going to suggest she stays at a different family members house or find a hotel.

She definitely cut me pretty bad, and I don’t want my kiddos feeling bad for the way they are.. luckily they are still so little they probably didn’t realize auntie was annoyed with them. But this is their home, and it’s unfortunate she was so “over stimulated” and “overwhelmed” by them. They were just excited. Literally whenever we go out and about my 3 year old asks if we can go to aunties house.. little girl loves her, and it breaks my heart. Some people just are not nurturing and the best, and I can’t force that. Sucks it isn’t really reciprocated.

Thank you again. Maybe one day I can have an adult conversation with her on it.. I just don’t want it to turn into a big blow out fight, she doesn’t play very nice.

Just going to avoid her and suggest she find somewhere else to crash.