we want different things

i just want to rant and need some advice. i’ve been with my husband for 4 years.. we just got married in january, before this we talked about having kids very very often. it’s a topic i feel strongly about and we were always on the same page. we wanted to start trying around 20 (which is now) however, i got pregnant back in january and we weren’t really trying but we weren’t preventing at all. all of the sudden it was like this switch turned on and my husband freaked out on me. about how were too young we’re not ready etc etc. people told me he was just scared and will change his mind. i ended up miscarrying and he was very cold, did not care at all, told me he was relieved. ever since then his opinion on having kids changed and he wants to wait 5 or more years. after miscarrying it only made me want to have kids more. i still cry often and my heart hurts when i think about it. i walk down the baby isles at stores and just think why can’t that be me. i don’t wanna wait that long. i’ve wanted to be a mom for so long, i’ve worked in child care for years, it’s all i ever think about and he knew this. i honestly feel so sad knowing he wants to wait so long. we both have good stable jobs, our own home, own cars everything so i just don’t understand.. he thinks we’re too young for kids but weren’t too young to get married ?? i honestly feel like he only feels this way because his mom is constantly negatively commenting on everything we do ever since we started dating at 15/16, when we got married she reacted so negatively saying that we’re too young, it was unnecessary, when we moved out it was “what are y’all in a rush for” etc etc. she treats him like he’s a child as if he’s not about to turn 21 yrs old and has been providing for himself for years. she’ll make comments when she sees us like “y’all better not be making no babies” i feel like it really got into his head. i just don’t understand how he changed his mind so fast when only months ago he was on board with trying for a baby🤦🏼‍♀️