Why is life so confusing

Why does it feel like I have to go through the worst time in my life in order to be genuinely happy. I have to be homeless first to be wealthy. I have to have a horrible life and a story to tell in order for me to have what I want.. why can’t I just be happy now. How fair is that.. Everyone I know who’s where they’re at has trauma of some kind and I’m traumaless and depressed, is there no hope for me until something horrible happens? ;-;