Emotional battle

Hello Everyone, my name is Kady & I need some insight on how to go about this situation… so I’ve been battling with giving my ex another chance, we were together 3 years ago but things got intense & ugly due to my mother’s actions. To make a long story he never used to listen to me about riding his “homeboys” and his cousins in his car a lot, I already knew that they weren’t up to no good but he couldn’t see it. It finally caught up too him & one morning on his way to work he got stopped by a cop for a tail light or something & he was already on probation for a incident that happened way before we met , so he couldn’t be around certain things. So the cop was about to let him go after giving him a warning but the “homeboy/coworker” was acting real nervous & was acting weird so the cop made them step out the car & come to find out the guy had a hidden gun under the passenger side the guy confessed it was his but due to the probation issues they made my ex finish out a year of his time. He told me that he found out the guy had beef with another guy at the job & had brought gun to do whatever. Now while he was finishing out his time we were still together but I was focusing on school/work mostly now while that was happening my mom was making my life very miserable every day I was stressed and depressed because she would google him & had others google him too find whatever they could find about him & try to use it against me, all of this left me kinda traumatized because I couldn’t even speak his name without getting criticized and cursed out, my mother has called me every name in the book she even would leave me nasty messages while I was at work. 😢 😞 me & my ex started speaking again around 7 months ago , & we still love each other he’s been trying to get me back & even asked me to marry him . I am in love with him still but it’s hard for me to express that too him I told him about my emotions & what I was dealing with & he was just like “it’s all cause of your mother “ “are u gonna let your family block your happiness?” Idk what to do I’m just scared 😟 I have a hard time with letting my guard down with men in general. Btw we’re adults I’m 27 & he’s 29 now . It would be nice too hear from others who went through this kinda thing. (: Also he don’t hang around those people anymore he works for a new company & doesn’t hang out much with those cousins.