Am I wrong? (Wedding related)

Question

Hi everyone! I’m super frustrated and need advice. So to preface this story with as little rambling as possible: my wish for my wedding has always been no kids. not that I don’t like kids, I just don’t want them at my wedding. Anyways, my fiancé and I are getting married in a few months, and I’ve said from the beginning that the only children that will be present at the wedding are the ones that are in the bridal party. Fast forward to now, my FBIL and FSIL (supposed to be best man and bridesmaid) have been treating us like absolute garbage and I really think they’re gonna back out of the wedding party. 
So here’s the issue: their daughter (2/yo) is supposed to be our flower girl. If they decide to be spiteful and pull her out of the wedding, I told him if she is not in the wedding party, they will have to find someone to watch her as she will not be allowed at the wedding, due to my no kids rule (if they show up at that point). My fiancé tells me I’m being unreasonable. From my point of view, they’ve treated us like crap, and I feel I need to stand my ground here. I’ve already told everyone else that’s asked that no kids are allowed, I’m not going to make exceptions for only some people, especially not them after the way they’ve behaved.
Am I wrong? It would take forever to explain all the shit they’ve pulled but just take my word for it they’re horrible.

Answer

Read this post again “MY wish for MY wedding has always been…” you realize that you are getting married and it’s not just YOUR wedding right? That your FUTURE husband also has a say on how he wants HIS day to go right? So he wants his niece there, and you don’t cause you feel the family is “toxic” if you are willing to have her as a flower girl, you should have her as a guest.  I think you are 100% wrong and you should discuss in greater detail what your PARTNER also wants.. it’s not just about YOU…

Answer

This will be your niece? I could never imagine not allowing my nieces and nephews at an important thing like my wedding. I don’t think it’s wrong exactly to stick to your rule especially if they aren’t treating you well but I also think you fiancé’s opinion matters here and if he wants his niece at the wedding you should not tell him no she’s not allowed. Also expect for less guests in general because when kids aren’t allowed that means a lot of couples won’t be able to make it, not everyone has a babysitter or some just won’t want to be there when their kids aren’t invited.

Answer

I wouldn't make an exception for shitty ass people. Shit my SIL, BIL and nieces didn't come to my wedding cause I ended up not inviting them 🤷‍♀️ I wanted to keep all of that drama OUT of my wedding day. Not gonna have them there just because they're family.

Answer

Honestly? I would just make an executive decision and pull them from the wedding party now. If they are giving you the run around and stressing you out about stuff like this now, then you can pretty much bet that they are going to give you a big headache later. You pull them now and make other arrangements, you can ensure that you have a seamless experience. 
You don't have to be nasty...you can just say something like "I can see that all this planning is really stressing you guys out. We value your contribution and want you to be as comfortable as possible so to make things easier we are going to recind the whole "wedding party" thing and go in another direction. Of course we still want you to be our guest and be present, we just think that the removal of the "label" of best man, maid of honor, flower girl and such might remove some of the pressure being felt and be more conducive to everyone having a good experience".
Then pick someone else and don't look back.
Best of luck.

Answer

My opinion, no kid weddings should mean no kids. Not “no kids, except for the couple we say”. I don’t think kids should be at weddings. It’s an adult event for adults.

Answer

I mean you are allowed to have a child free wedding if that is what you and your fiancé both want.  However, it is his wedding to and if he is close to his niece (or any other nieces and nephews) think hard about if he honestly is ok with them not being there at all.  Every family is different but consider how his relationship is with them and have an honest conversation with your fiancé (and let him voice his true feelings without getting defensive). 
I always said I wanted a child free wedding but my husband is extremely close to his immediate family and his nieces and nephews are a big part of his everyday life.  I wouldn’t of dreamed of cutting them out of the day and we chose to have a child friendly wedding.

Answer

Why would you want  someone who clearly doesn’t like you at their wedding?

Answer

Nope not wrong. I think your feelings are valid, why would she go if they didn’t? You guys aren’t responsible for their child.

Am I wrong? (Wedding related)

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