What’s wrong with me?

Question

So my husband is a travel nurse. I am home with our children. He’s not home a lot. I’m used to him doing travel jobs but this is the first contract he’s done where he is actually away and doesn’t come home for the most part. I’m talking days at a time. The past contracts he travels but it’s not far enough to have to stay somewhere else he always comes home. This one he can’t since it’s 3 hours away. He’s staying up with his mom who lives close to the hospital. However I’m extremly emotional. I feel very empty of a feeling. I cry randomly for no reason. I have no idea what’s wrong with me? He’s not leaving me? He’s literally working. Is this separation anxiety ? I’ve never felt this way.
Also I’ve had extreme trauma in the past to the point I don’t cry anymore, so just randomly having tears flow and I can’t even help it! This is so strange.

Answer

My husband and I are both registered nurses. We both used to travel nurse together for a few years. I can’t imagine having to be separated from him for a 12 week contract, PLUS take care of little ones on my own. Your feelings are valid. I do agree with another poster about tying to visit your MIL if he has 2-3 days off in a row. Yes that’s a long drive by yourself with your kids, but it might be worth it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Can you go visit and stay with him and your MIL or can he come home for one? maybe that would be a nice thing to look forward to

Answer

My husband went out of country for almost 2 months in Feb and MAN! I CRIED soooo much i would pick fights with him because I was so mad he left... but he left because his dad passed away last year and he and his family had to do some rituals and ceremonies. His brother stayed a month but he stayed for 2 months! I was a wreck it was soo bad because  I had to handle it all house, bills, kid, everything... I just feel i had separation anxiety and I am very much attached to him..

Answer

My ex's mom is a travel nurse. She takes 13 week assignments where she is too far to he home most if the time. Yes  it is seperation anxiety. It is new having him not being hone at night, but you will be okay. Find things to keep you busy, call/video chat him when you can, and focus on you and the kids til he gets home.

Answer

I know exactly how you feel!! I think separation anxiety is partially the reason, but also because being stuck at home 24/7 with the kids and taking on literally everything at home is incredibly tiring and overwhelming. My husband is in the medical field, we ended up moving to Idaho from Washington (6-7hr drive from us now) and he was still working in Seattle, so he left to stay over at a friends house while working. He’d be gone 3-4 weeks at a time and only come back for 4-6 days. This went on for almost 2 years. I ended up getting pregnant over a month after moving here, and he wasn’t present for most of my pregnancy until the very end. It was incredibly depressing, I cried all the time, considered divorce because Truly I was miserable. I had two other kiddos and it was just a lot living in a state where I didn’t know anyone, winter that year was insane! I couldn’t hardly leave the house because of the 13ft of snow we had. I felt like a single parent because basically I was. Sometimes I’d travel the 6-7hrs just to go to my parents house and see him. When he would come back home for a short period I found myself almost resenting him, I got into my own routine with the kids and school schedules, so we would bud heads a lot. Then he was able to take a couple weeks off after I gave birth and then he went back for two weeks while I had my newborn, plus two other kids. This was off and on for that year. Overwhelming was an understatement! Luckily I had a very calm baby, but she cluster fed like crazy. I was exhausted! Honestly both of us were, he worked at the hospital and ambulance company as an EMT in Seattle. 
So then fast forward to 4 months postpartum, right after Christmas (when I found out I was last pregnant with #3) I decided to take a pregnancy test really for no other reason other then because it was about to expire. Well two pink lines is what I saw, and I instantly cried because I was like what? We had so many miscarriages before I never thought that would happen. So I was then pregnant and had a 4 month old 😩😳😞 I tell ya those were some very hard times. He was still gone a lot. Finally he ended up qualifying for 6months paid paternity leave. About a month before I went into labor someone hit my husband in the ambulance while he was driving red to a call, the company he was working for ended up firing him because they’re insurance told them he was a liability and if they didn’t fire him they would drop this ambulance company from there policy. So he ended up suing the drivers insurance company and the company he worked for insurance company. He won, well one of them, the other one will be wrapped up soon. That was two years ago. So then he was on the paternity leave and unemployment for the first year. That year was so good because he was home for once! Until he had to find a new job….
So currently my husband now works at the hospitals emergency in Idaho about 35min from where we live, and is now volunteering at the local fire department and just recently had an interview with a fire department in another county (29min away) so between work, and volunteering he is hardly home. Oh and he went back to school for his advanced EMT for 6 months. So I can absolutely relate to how you feel. It feels like being a military wife in some ways. Somedays I’m just so unhappy because I don’t get a moment to myself, and I know he doesn’t either with work, but gosh I have two toddlers 2&20 months, 7yr old, 12yr old and luckily the older kids are very helpful but times where they aren’t and they can be a lot. My son has baseball Mon-Thurs with games every other Sat and sometimes twice during the week. It’s incredibly overwhelming. We live on 12 acres in the woods basically in the middle of no where. I don’t have any friends now that we live here. I can’t make friends even if I wanted to because how? I’m always stuck at home. So the lack of human connection mixed with having toddlers you start to kind of feel like your going crazy. And that’s been my life for the last almost 4 years now. My only ties to anyone is on IG lol. I know pathetic. 
If you ever need to talk message me! Seriously I get it. My husband a few months back thought about being a travel medical technician or EMT and I said HELL NO I don’t care how good the money is. 😂

Answer

I would try to travel to see him as often as your schedule allows. Also mix in some face time dates, phone calls, specific times to text. You can make this experience extra romantic & talk about writing letters back & forth too! Once he's home from this business trip you can put the letters in a shadow box & remember how the two of you made it through this tough situation. I'm sorry you're going through this but this too shall end ❤️ cry all you can but then, put a plan in motion.

What’s wrong with me?

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