Are my in laws calling me a bad mom without upfront saying so?

I had a baby one month ago and have a 13mo (M). I’m 20 and have a history of PPD and feel like I’m experiencing postpartum psychosis. I also have been feeling really burnt out because 13mo is teething, 1mo has bad reflux and gas an breastfeeds, I’m home alone with them all day until either my fiancé or his dad get home, and the only one able to be up at night since fiance takes meds. I already feel bad that I can’t do everything and my in-laws (fiancé’s grandma and aunt) comments make it worse. For example, before I had my second, they told me I was controlling of my son and fiancé and that they “didn’t understand why I was like that” and that they “don’t like how I patented” my at the time, 10 month old, but that it “wasn’t their business”. I was confused on how you disagree about a baby so I left it. Then they watched him when I was in the hospital and he had a rash (one dot) on his sack. We visited them when baby was 2 weeks old and they were insistent on changing my son. They freaked out because he had another rash (he has sensitive skin, including to his own poop) and I could hear his aunt trying to whisper about how she “doesn’t understand” and how he needs to make sure I use cream and check him every half an hour. His grandma told me “when he was here, we fixed his rash and didn’t have any issue”. I told my fiancé that I heard and that I try, but can’t always check him the way they want. Same visit, I said that he’s been fussy. She goes on to say “well when I had him, he didn’t cry or fuss at all” (i call BS bc he doesn’t talk, that’s literally how he communicates). Then the next week, he got a bad rash down his legs (his diaper area was fine). I asked them what I could do and they insisted it was a diaper rash and that I need to change him more and again says “they didn’t have that issue”. 🥲

Like OKAY I fucking get it, you guys did better than I did. But you’re 70 and 50 year old women (TWO women) who have raised babies before and had him (JUST him) for all of 2 days. That’s a LOT different than me - a 20 year old with postpartum issues, trying to take on two babies who have different needs by myself all the time. I already feel bad because I burn myself out so much trying to do everything. Hearing “I didn’t have that” isn’t necessary or helpful.